The day was great until the drama began!

I just can’t deal with her when she starts with all the drama!

Calm down. No need for drama.

Drama isn’t always what we identify it to be. We often use the word to describe something we think is unnecessary, excessive, out of control. It might be a reaction that is a bit much for us, something that makes us uncomfortable, so we call it drama and excuse ourselves from it, so we don’t have to deal with it.

Sure, there is true drama, and some of it is unnecessary, excessive, and out of control. But most the time I hear the word drama used, it’s with a judgment that basically says, “Get over it. Set it aside. Take it somewhere else.”

And sometimes, that’s indeed what we need to do. But I think flinging the “drama” word around as an accusation is often an easy way out. If we identify any uncomfortable emotional expressions as drama, we begin to avoid many important emotional expressions. We downplay someone’s experience and set aside the opportunity to help someone learn solid coping strategies. Perhaps it’s our own coping strategies that suffer the most. We want to avoid discomfort, inconvenience, and confrontation, so we ignore the reality underneath the emotion. We begin to believe that if we pretend it doesn’t exist, maybe it doesn’t.

In the process, we stop inviting feelings, which are part of being human.

In the process, we discourage conversations, which are essential to relationships.

In the process, we miss out on sharing life, which is isolating, lonely, and dismissive.

In the process, we begin to build a reality that might be far from real.

It’s wise to ask yourself how you use the word drama – whether it’s an accusation you primarily fling onto others or something to access in both your own and others’ lives, even an invitation to experience and explore life with your eyes and heart wide open. Do you see it as a bad thing or, at times, an opportunity? Is the way you’re approaching and defining drama affecting the way you engage (or avoid) others?