On SuperBowl Sunday last year, I shared my experience from the prior year. Two years ago, SuperBowl Sunday was less than 48 hours after my ex announced he wanted a divorce. This year, SuperBowl Sunday falls on the anniversary of that horrible date when I felt my world exploding into a million pieces.
I don’t remember the date to wallow. I remember because (1) it was a traumatic date in my life, and I can’t sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist, and (2) it is a benchmark of where I have been compared to where I am. Today marks an opportunity for me to reflect and choose gratitude.
On my datebook, I have the phrase “deja poo” written on this date. The phrase makes me smile even if the reason for the phrase reeks. A lot of poo loses it’s stench after a while, but there are some things in life that reek no matter how much time has passed. I can appreciate what God has grown out of the rich fertilizer, but it doesn’t make it all okay. It doesn’t make it any easier to see people I love still dealing with the deep effects of turmoil and betrayal. It doesn’t make the layers of deception meld into a remolded truth. It doesn’t make the compassion and longing for healing fade; in fact, it is more focused and amplified as time passes.
Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Without attention and care, time can make wounds worse. But with attention and care, we can learn to live with the long-lasting effects of the wounds.
God has given my healing process context. I don’t like it, and it’s not comfortable most of the time, but it is still purposeful. I don’t like the deja poo, but I love the God who is consistent and trustworthy as each year passes.
THE ANNIVERSARY DATE!!! Poo!! The date though, the beginning of God writing the next chapters of my life book. Five years (chapters) later I believe I am growing & healing. There were/are times I got/get in the way of the process. Only the Great physician can bring true healing. As with our personal health, we have responsibility to participate. This weekend my oldest son asked what were those things that have brought the changes in me from barely functioning to the present; my response-time. This nurse knows that amputations take time to heal. After the tissue has healed there is phantom pain as the nerves heal. So time, and “nerve” healing, are hopefully bringing me closer to the purpose that God has for me in the final chapters of my life book. Prayers & hugs for you on this deja poo date. Go Rams or is it Patriots!! 😊
Susan
Thank you. You analogy of the amputation is powerful. I appreciate you sharing your journey and encouragement. God has been and continues to be so very good to me. I praise him!
This world can suck, but God is ALWAYS good. Praying for you as this journey continues, and praising all you are teaching us through your authentic openness.
Thanks, Susan! Today has been beautiful with worship, weather, friends, etc. Such a tangible reminder of how God prunes our lives and makes beauty from ashes.