Divorce, My Life with God

Missing Keys

photo-1433622070098-754fdf81c929When I moved out of the house I shared with my ex, we didn’t have problems splitting the furniture. The pieces that had been passed down through my family went with me. I took the spare bed, so he could have the better bed for his back. He kept the living room furniture and his favorite table and chairs. I left the elliptical because it was too annoying to move. And so on.

There was one piece of furniture that had a connection to my family, but I knew it needed to stay with him. He played the piano. I didn’t. We purchased the piano he wanted after I received some unexpected money from a family member. I think I got as much joy from it as he did as I listened to him play.

He worshiped through playing the piano, whether it was in the privacy of our home or during Sunday morning worship services. And there were so many times when God’s presence was abundant through the notes.

He played less toward the end of our marriage. I now understand why.

After he left our marriage and the church, the first Sunday someone else played keys at church was difficult for me. Yet I have come to love and appreciate worshipful keys again. Worship music permeates my soul, and I savor a variety of instruments and styles. But every now and then, I miss the purity of just the keys.

There’s a specific song I loved and have recently missed. It is a specific arrangement of Jesus Loves Me (Fred Bock). There were many evenings of our marriage when I would cook supper or lie in bed and hear the beauty of that arrangement poured out with the passion of my ex’s heart and hands. I hear it clearly in my head but needed to hear it through my ears recently. I searched YouTube and found it.

I closed my eyes and listened. When the music stopped, I looked at the screen which said, “In Memory Of…” Of course, I didn’t know the person for whom the pianist played, but I realized I was listening “in memory of” my ex and our marriage. I still found beauty in the song. God’s presence was abundant.

And I thanked God.

Worshiping him is not dependent on a situation or relationship.

God is more.

3 thoughts on “Missing Keys”

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