So many people have used the same word when talking about my new home.

Are you excited?

That’s exciting!

I’m so excited for you!

Excitement is not the primary word I’d use.

Excitement seems like an odd fit because of the season of my life. I didn’t expect to be buying a house without the man I thought would be my lifetime partner. And while I’m moving into my future well, using the word “excitement” is not the right fit, because it seems to ignore the sadness and healing that’s part of the process.

I am grateful.

And I am ready.

I’m grateful and ready to settle in, make a home, and fill it with memories. I’m grateful and ready to move on. It’s not where I thought I would be, but it is still a good place. I would not have chosen this route, but I am choosing to savor the goodness in it all. I’m letting God sift, and I’m finding my trust in him keeps going deeper. It is not a desperate trust at this point but an abiding, strengthening trust.

I am grateful and I am ready.