As I caulked multiple surfaces in my new home, I considered how we often like to have a clean finish on something. We like a smooth surface. We like things to look and feel good. But if we’re not willing to do some prep work, we often just cover up the dirt that is there. The dirt creates a barrier and reduces how well our efforts to seal the surface and make it smooth will work in the long run. Sometimes we’re not willing to be patient through the process. We want the results without the effort.
The same can happen with relationships we want to heal. We have to deal with the grime if we truly want to move forward. We don’t have to stay in the past or dwell on things, but in order to move forward, we have to do the hard work to create a good surface on which to build the future.
If you’re dealing with a fractured relationship, and you have the desire and ability to help heal the fracture, be willing to do some difficult prep work. See the underlying issues. Roll up your sleeves and do the dirty work. Move forward with a clean surface instead of skimming over and sealing in the junk and dirt of the past.
You will find you enjoy residing in the relationship much more significantly.