“I can always tell when you’re lying.”

Always? Really? I’ll admit moms and others who know us well can often tell when we’re lying. Of course, some of us are better at it than others, but those closest to us generally see the tell-tale signs. Shifting eyes, meandering stories, or quick answers. Once someone assesses the other person is lying, then what? Wait for honesty? Confront? You can simply ask “Are you lying?,” but if you already suspect lying, will you be able to trust the answer?

The truth is dishonesty hurts. It damages relationships and is cancerous to the dishonest person. You may not be able to be absolutely certain someone is lying, but you can be absolutely certain when you are lying. Control what you can control. Sure, you should also steer others toward righteousness, including trustworthiness, so if you get the opportunity, love others by holding them accountable…but be sure to hold yourself to a high standard of truthfulness.

I’ve lied to others to make myself look better. Ironic, isn’t it? In the process of trying to impress someone, I’ve lessened not only my image but the person I am. Putting on a façade might give you momentary recognition, but it takes away a piece of your authenticity.

I’ve lied to others to make myself feel better. Again, ironic. Perhaps I felt better about the specific situation, but the lying itself made me feel worse. There goes another piece of my authenticity.

I’ve lied to myself. Ah, the many lies about my motivations, intentions, consistency, dreams…and the list goes on! And then there are the lies I’ve wanted others to tell. After all, do I really want to hear the truth when I ask how I look in my new outfit or if my butt looks
big in my jeans or if my hair looks good, or am I looking for affirmation?

How about you? In what areas do you justify dishonesty – either in yourself or others? What excuses do you accept?

How do truthfulness, discernment, kindness and accountability fit together?

Determine one area in which you can grow in your truthfulness. Ask God to help you keep your words, thoughts and actions in check. After all, he’s the only one who can with all honesty and certainty declare, “I can always tell when you’re lying.”

Good people will be guided by honesty; dishonesty will destroy those who are not trustworthy. Proverbs 11:3