The sun was shining, and the birds were chirping, which doesn’t seem odd, except three days earlier, the cold air was biting while snow swirled. Welcome to the Midwest, where seasons can feel as jolting as an unexpected Pick 4 Wild card in a game of UNO. 

I knew the cold, snowy, frozen Monday was coming, but I wasn’t quite ready for the warm Thursday morning. It started the afternoon before as I walked outside after work, but I expected the following morning to start with a chill in the air. I backed out of the garage and drove the short distance to the coffee shop, and that’s when I noticed it. I rolled down the window to place my order. I felt the warmth. I heard the birds. I noticed the clouds and the blue of the sky. I pulled forward to get my drink, then I continued with my open window as I drove through town. There was a slight chill in the air, but it still felt refreshing. I wanted to soak it in as long as possible.

I didn’t care to soak in the snow that was slamming into my face a few days earlier.

Weather changes. We enjoy and savor some of it more than others—similar to situations of life. 

We aren’t in control of much of it, but we can make a season or any portion of it more miserable by our lack of preparation—just like refusing to wear a coat, gloves, or boots during a snowstorm. Or wearing heavy clothes when it’s raining. Or wearing a hooded sweatshirt, jeans, and fur-lined boots to a poolside party. We complain about the situation, because we’re uncomfortable, but we could have done something about at least a portion of our experience. 

We can also adjust our attitude. Sure, we prefer a specific weather condition, but how many days of the year do we get to experience that specific weather (unless we live in a mostly consistent climate)? How do we deal with and express the discrepancy between what we’re experiencing and what we confirm? There is no issue with acknowledging it. Lying to ourselves and others won’t help us. But neither will dwelling on our dissatisfaction.

We know we can’t do much about weather, so even when we don’t like it, even when we complain about it, we usually keep doing what needs to be done. We might stay inside every now and then because of it, but it doesn’t stop us for long. But this analogy is less about the weather and more about the situations of everyday life and how we respond—similarly to weather.

We don’t have a lot of control over some situations, but we have some. We can make some situations more miserable by our lack of preparation—like refusing to have conversations, demanding our perspective is the only correct one, or stubbornly protesting to move forward and grow or change from where we are. We complain about a situation, because we’re uncomfortable, while we project responsibility on anyone but ourselves. We don’t want to admit we could have done more to impact our experience.

We can adjust our attitude. We need to realistically deal with the discrepancies between what we’re experiencing and what we want. We need to have goals and strive for them, but we also need to know how to cope and adjust. We need to develop coping skills that help us with disappointment and perseverance. We can’t expect for everything to happen the way we want it. We also shouldn’t relinquish easily. Strength is essential. Sometimes it’s needed to handle momentary disappointment. Sometimes we need strength to persevere. Sometimes we need strength to handle trauma. Sometimes we need strength to battle our internal struggles. Sometimes we need strength to admit we need to struggle because we’re coasting in a reality that feels comfortable but is dangerously close to collapsing.

Stand still for a moment. Close your eyes, breathe, and reset. Don’t spend too much time paused, but when you open your eyes, be ready to move at the pace intended for the next steps. It might be a little faster or slower than you prefer. It might be a little more or less comfortable than you like. It’s okay. There’s something in every weather condition and situation that you can appreciate. You might not enjoy soaking it in as much as other situations, but it’s temporary. Or even if it’s chronic, it’s in a context of other aspects you can savor. 

Go ahead. Challenge yourself. Listen to the bird chirp. Trudge through the snow. Feel the wind and the sun. Jump in a puddle. Breathe in the fresh air. It’s all a part of being alive.