“But, Mom! I went to bed LAST NIGHT!” 

Spoken by one of my favorite three-year-olds who could not understand why he needed to transition from daytime playtime to slowtime nighttime. After all, he’d already been there, done that. Why would he have to repeat the things he didn’t like?

We’ve all been there.

Never mind the fact that we don’t point out the duplications when it’s something we enjoy. He wouldn’t proclaim, “…but I’ve already played with my monster trucks!” or “I already had a snack today!” And we’re the same. We’ll point out what we’ve done that we don’t want to repeat, even when we know it’s something we need to do again and again. We know there’s purpose in the repetition. There are benefits to the rhythm. 

While it’s an extreme example, consider breathing. The inhale cannot exist on its own. Neither can the exhale. They also cannot get out of balance too much. Sure, we can exclaim, “But I exhaled a couple seconds ago!” Yet the rhythm matters. We often see the piece that we don’t want—or the piece we do want. And we resist—or persist. 

Rhythms can seem rigid. We don’t want the structure. We want flexibility and freedom. The reality is rhythms set us up for those exact things—flexibility and freedom. Rhythm is the structure. It is rarely rigid. Going back to breathing, how many times do you even think about or notice breathing? When there’s a problem. When you’re exerting yourself. When you’re in an unusual setting. But given the norm, your breathing simultaneously regulates and gives you the stability to do what you need to do next. 

So do many other rhythms of your life.

We can have unhealthy rhythms that give us structure as well. 

We have excuses and rationalizations, depending on whether we want to avoid or to overdo something. And sometimes we want to overdo what can serve us well in moderation. We want to live by it, hyperfocusing instead of letting it be the underlying structure that exists almost without thinking about it, equipping us to do everything else on a daily basis. In the process, we decide to focus on the breathing more than is needed. We spend time and energy where it’s not needed, which draws time and energy away from where it’s better spent. 

Just breathe.

It’s a common saying. It’s intended to be an encouragement. But it’s more of a directive than anything else, and it’s easier said than done at times. How can we let the structure, the rhythms of our lives do what they’re supposed to do without being too prominent, too burdensome, too annoying, too loathed, too idolized? 

Get familiar with the basics. The more we know the routine, the better we know what to expect. We are more aware of changes. We sense cautions. We know when we overdo something. We understand when our interactions with others are off. We’re not perfect, by any means, but we’re a bit more—ourselves. Simultaneously, we make room for changes in safe ways at a reasonable pace. Adjustments come more naturally—even if they are not always comfortable. 

Listen. Pause. Pay attention. There’s always room for change, but are we unnecessarily fighting the system that is taking care of us?

I was travelling with someone years ago who I knew to be fairly—um—inflexible. While on a bumpy ride, I watched him sit rigidly and brace himself with each bump we hit, then wince in pain. When two rigid objects meet, there is less give than when at least one has some flexibility. And the human body has some flexibility. I explained the human body is designed with some shock absorption. The body is made of a lot of water (around 60%), which, simply put, acts as a cushion. With connective tissue, cartilage, and more, the body is able to flex, taking on a bit of the impact. Of course, it has its limits, like anything. But we have to trust the body to do what it was made to do. And that’s not easy at times. However, in this case, as he let his body do the work, he found the ride much less painful. Every single one of us makes it more difficult on ourselves than is needed at times. But God has provided the basic structure to help. Let’s let him.

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