Earlier this month was the anniversary of my divorce. I’ve shared much of the journey in Fractured Into Wholeness. It was a lot. At times, it felt like too much. The day it was finalized was filled with peace, almost anti-climactic. Yet it became one of those dates on my calendar I thought I’d always remember. Maybe that assumption was because the date the journey began, when my ex announced without warning that he was out and there was no discussion or sorrow, respect or compassion…that date is seared in my mind. It marked a moment for me. I thought perhaps the date of the divorce, a full year and a half later, would leave a similar mark. I remembered it the following year and the year after that. But this year?
It passed without a flicker of memory. Oddly, it was only because of another date that I even remembered it. Almost a week later, I wrote a date beside a reminder note, and I briefly thought, “That seems like a familiar date. What is that? Am I forgetting something?” Oh. Right. It used to be my wedding anniversary. You’d think more than two and a half decades of commemorating that date would make it more memorable. And I suppose I’ll still remember it from time to time, but it was a soothing experience to live well without the bump of it.
I share, because I want you to know there is hope. There is healing. Whether it is the trauma and grief of divorce or other loss and trials, there will be dark days. There will be marked days that seem insurmountable. There will be days that feel dreadful. Others will seem numb. Others will seem unremarkable. And others will be good—very good. Because being fractured into wholeness in a process, not a result we can mark on the calendar.
You don’t need to circle and highlight the days. Live well through each one.