Relationships with others are messy.

No one would argue with the fact that we want our relationships to go somewhere. We want growth. We want change. We want results.

Are we willing to get dirty in the process?

In order for our relationships to grow, we have to do some work. Our relationships of faith are more like farming than construction work. Both have several steps.

In order to build a building, we must gather all the materials in preparation. We then assemble all those materials in an organized way to insure stability. Any mistakes will compromise the structure, and we can either tear down and rebuild or be content with the instability. At some point, we stand back and say, “Done!” and begin to use the building for its intended purpose.

Farming also involves preparation, yet the process that follows is a bit different. Cultivation must come before harvest. It’s a lengthy process, and we don’t always see the process along the way. Instead of placing one brick on top of another, holding a level across a newly-laid row to check for accuracy, we loosen the dirt, watch for anything that might harm the growing seeds, and apply water, fertilizer, and other nourishment. We can watch the growth, looking for benchmarks along the way, but we can’t actually make the seed grow differently.

Cultivating relationships of faith require faith, a trust that God will guide and provide the process. We know it’s messy work, because our lives are messy. No one living on earth is without mess, and we share our messes as we live life together.

Cultivating relationships of faith is also messy because we’re doing God’s work, and he has something to work through and in us. Lives of faith aren’t squeaky clean. They’re get-your-hands-in-the-dirt.

No! We are only servants of God who helped you believe. Each one of us did the work God gave us to do. I planted the seed, and Apollos watered it. But God is the One who made it grow. So the one who plants is not important, and the one who waters is not important. Only God, who makes things grow, is important. The one who plants and the one who waters have the same purpose, and each will be rewarded for his own work.We are God’s workers, working together; you are like God’s farm, God’s house. (1 Corinthians 3:5-9)

Be careful how you apply these verses. God isn’t letting us know we don’t have a role in growth. We don’t just sit aside in inactivity. Cultivating according to God’s process includes doing what God says we need to do, and it often includes messiness. Cultivating according to God’s process includes doing what God says we need to do, including trusting him. We fully engage in God’s work and his will, and that’s messy, not because God is messy but because the process of living this life of faith on earth prepares us, and cultivation is messy.

We don’t have to tolerate the messiness. We need to work in the messiness. We need to discern between what God says is a blessing and what God says is a trouble. We tend to define what we think are blessings and trouble. We don’t have good enough perspective to define blessings and trouble. God does. When we yield to him, we do the work he says to do, and we trust him to use our obedience for the cultivation he knows is essential.

If God guiding you in the messiness? Are you hesitant to get messy? Are you in messy situations you shouldn’t be in right now? It’s up to God, not you. No more rationalizing. Do what he says. You’ll see healthy growth, just not always when you want or how you expect. But God’s way will always result in his sovereign harvest.