We often feel most at home as ourselves by exhaling and relaxing, finding comfort even when we hit a rough patch, struggle, and resolve issues. The comfort comes not from what we look like and show to others but the authenticity of what we share.
We share different parts of ourselves with friends, classmates, family, church friends, etc. While we sometimes hide pieces of ourselves, that’s not always our motivation. Sometimes we simply share different pieces of ourselves with people in various situations because it’s what we have in common with others, what we have the opportunity to share, or what’s appropriate to share. While they seem like two points on a continuum, hiding parts of ourselves and choosing parts of ourselves to share can be can be very different because motivation matters. When we share something about ourselves, is it in an effort to also hide something? When we hide something, is it for our benefit or someone else’s, for short-term comfort or long-term healing and relationship?
Most of the time, only we know the truth. Sometimes, we don’t even know the truth. But that truth still matters, and it impacts ourselves, our relationships, and our future.
Our true selves are the whole, not the one self with which we are currently most comfortable or spend the most time. Our true selves aren’t what we concoct and maneuver. Our true identity isn’t compartmentalized but draws a circle with margin to catch the peripheral stuff, the stuff right on the edge but definitely either impacting our lives or getting pushed from our lives.
Share well. Reflect well. Decide well.
If you’re not willing to honestly look at who you are and who you’re becoming, you’ll likely end up deceiving yourself as much as if not more than others.