I recently experienced a move with a group of people who approach and process a move very differently.
Have you known me long? If so, you know my style of move. I’ve moved three times in six years, which is funny when I think about growing up in the same house my entire childhood and my children being in the same house nearly their entire childhoods. But my ex and I moved to my current town from that home. It was an organized move. About nine months later, I surprisingly moved again. My ex didn’t want me, and I didn’t want a giant house. It was an even more organized move. I decided on a Sunday I needed to get out of the unhealthy space, started packing Monday, and had a crew of amazing friends who did in one night what we expected might take an additional half day. A little over two years later, I bought my house and moved again. Again, I had a large crew of amazing friends to help. I had taken a load from house to house throughout the week, so all that was left was the furniture and a few boxes. I had walked through the new house and placed sticky notes on the walls where each piece of furniture was to be placed, and there are very few shifts that have been made since. I remember one friend said, “I don’t like to move people but could make a move like this every weekend.”
Um, no. Not me.
It’s not that I like moving, but if I’m going to do it, I want to streamline it. However, not every move I’m involved with is within my control. I remember several moves, helping people in difficult situations, where hardly anything was packed or even sorted. It makes for a long day for sure.
The recent move has definitely revealed the different approaches possible, and it’s exercised my patience. I’ve done what I could to help organize here and there, but there have been a lot of pieces to the puzzle. At times, it has felt like someone dumped several puzzles into one pile, and we’ve been sorting ever since. Many people brought different perspectives, contributions, and distractions to the table. And I’ve learned a lot.
It’s a process, and I’m reminded to respect the process. Respect different people’s personalities, preferences, and experiences. Respect varying schedules. Respect communication approaches and challenges. Respect differences. Acknowledge there is always room to grow, things to learn, challenges to greet. We engage the best we can and offer what we have. And in the process of respecting the process, we find much more respect for individuals, including ourselves, along the way.
Maybe you’re not involved in a move or anything else that seems daunting right now. But there is something you’re facing that involves a change alongside other people. Be mindful of how you engage. Because you impact the process. You impact others. Be aware of how you move.