Transparency can be a frightening prospect, especially when you’ve been hurt in the past. Authenticity increases vulnerability, but both are essential to friendships. God doesn’t intend for you to do life on your own. That means taking risks and  getting out of your comfort zone. Your relationships will often be as messy as a child’s finger painting, but God can create a masterpiece with your efforts as you’re obedient. Do the hard stuff of life with others, pouring encouragement and challenges into them and inviting them to pour into you as God guides.

Look for opportunities. In order to have great friendships, you must start somewhere. A lasting friendship might begin with a smile or a heated discussion.

Allow time. Great friendships take investment. Every friendship you begin won’t result in a lifetime connection. Friendships are seasonal.

Expect the unexpected. God doesn’t work within our guidelines. Let Him guide you to the friends in whom you should invest. He’s already working outside your expectations. Don’t miss it.

Avoid comparisons. Every friendship is different. The one you’re developing won’t measure up to your idea of a perfect friendship or the friendship you see someone else has.

Avoid tally marks. Every friendship isn’t 50/50. Sometimes we pour into someone and get little in return, but God makes sure someone else is pouring into us if we’re allowing Him to work.

Share weaknesses and strengths. Let’s acknowledge where we are in the journey toward who God created us to be, including what we think is good and what we’d prefer to ignore.

Invite the difficult. Develop friendships which are truth-seeking, not affirmation-seeking. It’s not easy to say or hear the uncomfortable, but God didn’t call us to a life of ease or comfort.

Build on the possibilities. Stepping away when a conflict or misunderstanding occurs will insure no friendship ever fully develops. Let God decide how long the friendship lasts. He provides the solid building materials you need.

Check in regularly. Follow up when there’s an action to be taken. Make sure friends know you haven’t forgotten their struggles as well as when you’ve done what you said you’d do.

Keep face-to-face time. Texts and social networking are great for quick updates and check-ins. Hand-written notes give an added boost. But nothing replaces eye contact.

Let God do His work in you and others.