We hadn’t seen each other much during the summer. We tried to keep up with texts and a sporadic game of phone tag, but we were missing out on everyday details of each other’s lives. The really sad part is – I began to adjust to it. I accepted it as a “new norm” and realized I became increasingly less persistent to keep in touch. I began accepting the distance that was developing between us. Neither of us was doing anything to actively create distance between us, but without intentional effort to connect, we drifted apart.

Relationships are like unmotored boats. Without a strong tie to solid land, it will slowly drift away. With each ebb and flow of water, the boat will shift. It can become damaged as it aimlessly bumps into other boats, docks, and rocks. It can become lost as it is carried farther and farther away from shore. The disconnect doesn’t happen suddenly. It occurs with passing time in small increments. When the mooring slips, a person on board might not even notice. He’s become accustomed to the gentle rise and fall of the ship in the water and doesn’t feel much different as the ship moves away from its pier.

The same is true for relationships. When the ties that bind slip, initial changes might be indiscernable. But with the ebb and flow of routines, the relationship shifts. Without care and attention, the relationship gets bumped and bruised as it collides with and is pushed around by other priorities. The people involved drift farther and farther apart. As time passes, the distance increases. When the disconnect begins, people involved might not even notice because the changes can be inperceptible. They become accustomed to the busyness of life, and the distance of the relationship isn’t quickly noticed. The small changes of drifting accumulate until people in the relationship lose sight of each other.

Some people are in our life for a season. People will come and go, but are you being intentional in your relationships?

Are you ending relationships that are unhealthy?

Are you finding ways to creatively stay in touch with those who have moved away from you?

Are you regularly connecting with those who are currently a part of your life?

Are you being intentional with the most essential people in your life?

Being intentional is key. You might need to cut ties with people from time to time. That’s different than letting ties slip and distance slowly accumulate between you. In order to stay connected, you have to…stay connected. Consistently check where you are and where the other person is. Be aware of distance developing between you. Take care of the ties that bind you together, so when they start to wear or fray, you can strengthen them.

When school began, my friend and I set a date to walk together while her son was in preschool. We walked for two hours, catching up on all the details of our lives. We’ve now repeated our walks for several weeks, and I’m finally feeling reconnected. I’m glad the distance between us didn’t become the “new norm.” I’m glad we’ve decided to intentionally invest in strengthening the ties that bind us together.

We might drift again in the future, but for now, I’m thankful our relationship is grounded.

Check your moorings. They’re essential to your relationships.