I feel insufficient in my prayer life.
I’ve definitely grown in recent years, but I still have so much to learn…and apply. Prayer is one of those areas that I believe there will always be “more” that is possible.
I’m learning a lot from prayer warriors in my life, and one of the lessons has surprised me: even those people I most respect as prayer warriors recognize insufficiencies in their prayer lives. Well, perhaps that’s a misrepresentation. They’re not really insufficiencies, because it’s our very need to approach God and give everything, mainly ourselves, to him through prayer that acknowledges that we are sufficient in our insufficiencies when we take them to God. When we are humble in God’s presence, we are bold in his. When we are weak in God’s presence, we are strong in his. When we take everything within us–including our foolishness, questions, doubts, pride, excuses, fears, and so much more–to him in prayer, we are trusting him to sift through everything and reveal what needs to be tossed aside, what needs to be replaced, and what needs to be enhanced.
Prayer isn’t about perfection. It’s about willingness.
I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to classify myself as a prayer warrior, because I’ll always see a way that I can and should grow. That’s not to say I’ll get down on myself about it or let it paralyze me into not praying as I want to and know I can and should. Seeing my weaknesses doesn’t have to be a bad thing, because acknowledging my weaknesses can simply be an invitation to let God work in and through them. They’re a reminder he’s God and I’m not.
Weaknesses in my prayer life–or any other area of life–are reminders of opportunities to let God work.
So, I might not be a prayer warrior, but I am a prayer-warrior-in-training. And in order to train, I have to rely on someone who knows a lot more about it than I do. There are certainly people around me whom I respect and who pour into and challenge me, but the best trainer for me is God. He’s the one that knows more about prayer than anyone else, and he knows more about me than anyone else. In order for me to grow and learn from what God wants to teach me as a prayer-warrior-in-training, I have to listen, and that requires…prayer!
It’s time to train!