The gap between who you think you are expected to be and who you think you are causes problems.
A lot of problems.
You can think you’re doing yourself and everyone else a favor by going through the motions and, at least in front of others, living up to their standards (which are really just your own standards, projected onto others).
Or you can decide you’re just going to live the way you want with no consideration for anyone else, and they can all just deal with it.
You might assume you are someone you’re really not. You think of yourself more highly than you should or more critical than you should.
How you respond to the gap between who you think you’re expected to be and who you think you are matters.
Humility is essential.
Honesty is essential.
Questions and reflection and a willingness to change are all essential.
Ask yourself, “Who am I?” Ask people you trust, “Who am I?” Ask God, “Who am I?”
And who are you becoming? Who should you become, and why? Are you willing to change, even if you have to decide your assumptions and assessments are inaccurate?
If not, you might find yourself content with staying right where you are, even though it might not be the best place you can be.