Divorce, My Life with God

God’s Side

You’ve got this. God is on your side.

What is intended for encouragement can sometimes distort the full truth of a situation. Is God on our side? Yes, as in, he is for us. He has purpose for us and provides. Our relationship with him matters. We matter to him, because he created us and he loves us.

God is on our side. But to the exclusion of other sides and other people? No. God is with us, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t with others who stand on the other side of the things we’re involved in, such as, court cases, political stances, or other disputes and differences. God can be on both sides, not of right and wrong but in support of someone’s purpose in his will. We often want to make God’s provision and power about whatever the issue is and whether it is right or wrong. So, we claim God is for us and with us, because of the issue we’re choosing or the goal we have. But the process matters, too. How we’re responding to and treating others matters. Right and wrong isn’t so narrow as to only include an issue. Right and wrong is broad enough to embrace, provide for, and correct our methods, attitudes, and relationships.

Of course, God corrects wrongs. His justice is secure, but it’s not predictable in our understanding and timing. And it’s a good thing, because we’d rush things a bit too much at times. One practical example is my journey through a horrible divorce. I sought God’s wisdom every step of the way, even when the chaos was blinding to me. The hurt often bubbled up and it was difficult to not let bitterness drive my decisions…

…but God…

I knew he was with me, but not at my ex’s expense. My ex had walked away from God and took some approaches that reflected that choice, but I knew God was with him. I knew God loved him through it all. And that comforted me. I experienced God’s presence with abundance, and that drove me to consistently ask God to provide for my ex through the process, not because I’m a good person, but because God is good. No one was going to win the divorce; there’s too much deep hurt. But God could still win. And he did and he is.

God is going to work to redeem people. He is going to fight the good fight and guide justice, while knowing the path most conducive to mercy and grace. The better we know God, we understand the importance of the process, not just the content of the fight. We still stand for causes and issues but only with the truth of his character. We never abandon who he calls us to be.

Disagreeing, negotiating, and discussion is best done acknowledging that he is present and involved on both sides. He has clear lines between good and evil, but he sees the potential and purpose in each person and is enough for every side and every one.

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