A friend of mine is going through a rough relationship breakup. I have tried to encourage her, which sometimes involves cheering her on and other times involves saying some tough things to caution and guide her. Of course, she knows a lot about my journey from our personal conversations and the details of Fractured Into Wholeness.
We had been texting throughout the day when I got the following response from her:
I can tell you what I’m NOT going to do. I’m not going to clean this house before I leave if he gets it. I’m NOT going to leave notes…unless they are nasty ones.
And we laughed. If you haven’t read Fractured Into Wholeness, you might not find the humor, and perhaps it’s not just reading about an experience but needing some humor release in the midst of a tough conversation.
After we laughed, I got serious again for a moment. I needed to remind her we all respond differently. Even in similar circumstances, we choose differently. While there are some absolute rights and wrongs of life, most of the choices we make are less about the result and more about the motivation and process. My friend might choose differently than I did. I chose differently than some. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean I chose God’s way and they didn’t or the reverse. We can both choose God’s way and it look a bit different, while we each get some things wrong along the way.
We can share our stories, but sharing isn’t intended to be an instruction manual. The best way we can encourage one another is to process together, listen together, laugh together—and encourage the separation required to personally seek God’s presence and prompt. Then we take the next steps together, encourage through consequences and opportunities, and find moments to laugh at ourselves.