We can’t simply fast forward into a solution. We have to do the work that actually gets us there. It’s frustrating when it’s not instant. But it’s not.

Sometimes we spur the frustration and stagnancy ourselves. Because something isn’t instant, because we don’t see a change, we don’t try to change. We know what end result we want, but we’re not willing to put in the work to get there. It’s especially hard when there’s a relationship, organization, or family involved. Everybody isn’t necessarily going in the same direction at the same time.

What can you do? When in the tough moments, recognize those moments aren’t the ones in which the change will happen. It’s not where the important discussions happen, because everything is more elevated and sensitive. It takes a little bit more space and wisdom in order to communicate well and put a plan in motion. It’s what happens in the calm that invites change. The problem is, in some situations, there’s not much calm. But there are still differences among the tough moments. There are varying levels of tough. It’s important to do our best to identify the possibilities, the moments we can plant seeds of change. Change is rarely immediate. Sometimes it’s several shuffles forward with what seems to be a giant stumble back. But that’s still movement. It’s still effort. And as exhausting as it is, it has the potential to be much more productive than sitting still and expecting change within the stagnancy.