Influence is not power. It is responsibility.

Who do you allow to influence your life? Whose life do you influence? Which influences are positive and which are negative, constructive and destructive, authentic and deceptive?

People have power in our lives, but their position doesn’t entitle them to influence. If they handle the position of power responsibly, influence is engaging. We develop respect, and we want to learn as they lead. We flourish within the healthy boundaries and encouragement. But when people use such positions irresponsibly, respect erodes, and with it, attention, connection, and commitment drain. We might go through the motions to maneuver the basics, and we might find ways to maintain personal respect and integrity, but the relationship or organization fades. Progress and effectiveness are weighted. Instead of grounding values, they become restrictive.

I’ve seen these dynamics in families, churches, organizations, and businesses. No matter the context, it’s ugly and uncomfortable.

The opposite dynamics spur each other toward growth. There’s an authenticity in the interactions and environment. Responsible influence invites curiosity and compassion. It opens our eyes and minds to consider changes we might not otherwise entertain. It holds us accountable for the influence we have on others. We anticipate interactions and planning with strategy and hope.

Power often repels. Influence usually invites.

Which are you fostering in your everyday life?