I was on my annual writing retreat. My arrival was delayed (for good reason), and I was ready to dig in right away. I planned to work on writing, a couple personal projects, and some work. It was a busy time at work, and while I had taken time off, I knew I’d feel better getting some tasks done. I had set aside some projects that would be easier to focus on while out of the office, away from distractions. But I had trouble with my connection. I could connect all my personal devices, but my work device repeatedly disconnected. It didn’t both me the first day, but the second day stirred some anxiety. I wanted to make progress, and it was frustrating to feel as if I was wasting my time troubleshooting. My plans and goals were not working. I felt as if every moment that passed pushed me further behind. I entertained the idea of packing up and driving home. I thought that would help me feel better and get done what was on my list. But I paused, threw a pity party, then reality-checked my priorities. I was being too driven. I needed to reset my priorities, because the time was limited, and I had other options. I could keep up with the basics of work on my phone and focus on other projects with the time away.

I took a deep breath and settled in. As the days passed, I realized how important the decision to reprioritize had been. I barely had time to finish the additional writing and personal projects. If I had been able to make progress on the work projects, I don’t think I would have gotten much other work done. My time away from work and home flew by for a variety of reasons, but I spent the time as wisely as I could, and I was thankful. It was not the intensely productive time away previous years of the writing retreat had been, but it was still rejuvenating. It was clarifying. It took a bit of a meltdown to remind me of the importance of priorities. I can stubbornly get into a routine and begin to focus too intently on responsibilities that take consistent time in my schedule. It takes some pushing and pulling to get me out of the rut.

Stubbornness isn’t the same as commitment or perseverance. It’s a twist on it, and it can be unhealthy and unproductive. Stubbornness reconfigures our priorities. We need more intention. We need to broaden our perspective so the frustrations we encounter have context that equips us to choose, cope, and respond well.

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