I’ve been declining most speaking invitations. There isn’t a specific reason, but it’s been consistent the past couple years despite the demand increasing. I’ve had peace saying no. But recently, I got an invitation that spurred the opposite response. As sure as I’ve been about saying no to the others, I knew this one needed to be a yes. I didn’t know why. I simply knew the answer.

Full transparency: I didn’t answer immediately. When I finally responded a few days later, I acknowledged they had probably already found someone. They hadn’t asked anyone else yet. Well, okay then. I was in. In conversations that followed, the details of the topic and structure easily fell into place.

The only uncertainty I had was about my own schedule. I would be returning from a weeklong trip the night before, then I’d have an early morning and a full day at work before travelling to the event. The flip side was I’d have plenty of reflection time on my trip for prayer and final preparation. I was thankful.

I pulled into the parking lot and walked into the venue without hesitation. I interacted with some of the women, then stood back to take it in. I suddenly questioned myself. Why had I said yes? Why was I there? Could I get out of it? I could feel doubt bubbling up and tears welling into my eyes. But I knew better than to trust the feeling. I was supposed to say yes: I was certain. Therefore, there was no reason to question. The way forward was to trust the preparation and prayers. The way forward was authentically sharing my story, not for the sake of me, but to spur others to reflect on their own stories and share them with each other. I would only be with the women for a short time, but many of them do life together. Facilitating healthy connections is a passion, and I was not going to squander the opportunity.

As I watched women connect each time we broke into discussion times, tears welled again but this time with appreciation. Why had I questioned myself and the process? I said yes for a reason. It was a step of faith. And the women were stepping out in faith together as well. This was why I said yes—to invite women to heal and connect, to share themselves and invite accountability through the next steps of their lives.

The next week another invitation came, and I declined it. Because it’s important to say no to the right things so we can say yes to the right things. We often make excuses to let ourselves off the hook, rationalizing our declines and acceptances. Instead, let’s trust the no and the yes then savor the process that follows.

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