A Buddhist monk stood on the busy city sidewalk and smiled as he gently offered beads to those quickly walking by.

He bowed his head as he offered me a strand. I kindly smiled but continued to walk. He reached toward me. “No, thank you.” He look at me with what I read as a generous desire to share and said something like, “You do not want beautiful prayer beads?” I know the significance of the beads. I value what they represent, but I don’t need him to share with me. I also didn’t want to be rude. Yet I decided I wasn’t willing to disappoint him, so I let him put a bracelet on my wrist, told him thank you, and pulled away to continue to walk. But he held out his hand and asked for a donation. I slid off the bracelet, smiled, and returned to “No, thank you,” adding, “Have a blessed day.” He angrily looked at me and exclaimed something I didn’t understand.

Well, that didn’t go as I expected.

This story isn’t about a specific group of people or belief. Quite the opposite. Instead of generalizing to a people of a specific belief, I’d prefer to focus on each of us. When do we reach out to others to invite, share, or serve, intent to live out specific values and characteristics, then belie them because we don’t get the response, participation, or appreciation we want? Are we consistent when we respond outside our control and expectations?

Not always.

Know your motivations. Know your character. And know when you betray them.