Never start a car in a closed garage. It’s common sense, right? The exhaust is toxic. It can take as short as two minutes to build damaging levels of breathable toxins in the enclosed space. That’s what happens when we block ourselves into a closed room. We need air flowing in and out.

The same is true with the exhaust we create on our own. We shouldn’t breathe our own exhaust for too long.

It’s a common practice in today’s culture. We like to listen to what we like, what affirms us. Choosing what challenges us is less common. Little by little, we close ourselves off to anything that contradicts what we want. We have our own timeliness, preferences, comforts, standards (or lack of them). When someone is different than us, we judge, ignore, or reject. Sometimes it’s out of self-preservation. There can be some wisdom in what we won’t engage with, but when wisdom is involved, it’s usually a must more respectful, subtle separation. Selfishness and lack of empathy drives the harshness.

Whether we label people as narcissistic or simply selfish, one of the things we tend to experience in people who have built a tight four walls around themselves is a lack of logic and critical thinking—while the person confidently proclaims their way of thinking is exceptionally logical. Of course, it seems that way to them. Toxic exhaust affects the mind quickly. There is less sensitivity because the brain is on overload trying to keep the constructs the person works hard to establish and maintain. Sensitivity has no space. Emotions are minimized—except the anger the person justifies when anyone contradicts them.

We see what’s happening in people’s lives, but they won’t come out of the garage. We find ways to give them some air, but they have to get out of the garage to recover. They might like their small room of control too much. It’s hard to watch adults make life-altering decisions they believe are good without seeing the short-term and long-term effects.

Perhaps we all breathe our own exhaust to some degree. Think about it without rationalizing or excusing. Be sure you’re standing in fresh air.