We have to deal with our brokenness in healing ways.

If you break a leg and work on building muscle elsewhere, it doesn’t heal the broken leg. If you pee in a cup of water then add sugar, it doesn’t take the pee away. Doing good things can have some credibility of its own, but they might not do the work we’re hoping. We try to cover up the hard stuff. We ignore it, mask it, compensate for it, but it’s still there. And in many cases, it will always be there. Healing the brokenness and taking away the awfulness is a process, a long series of choices. How we cope matters.

Years ago, I learned something that has helped me. Perhaps it will help you, too.

When I was younger, I dealt with something difficult. I dealt with it the best I could at the time, which was to bury it. That worked okay for quite a few years–until it didn’t. I guess it was time to deal with it. It was overwhelming, but I did my best and moved on. It resurfaced another few years later, which was annoying, but I did some more healing until…the next time. And I was angry. Why on earth did I have to keep dealing with the same thing over and over? Hadn’t I done the hard work? Was I missing something?

When someone experiences a serious burn, healing isn’t the first step. Putting out the fire and surviving is. Then time must pass before the next step can be taken. And from what I understand, removing the charred skin is horrifically painful. It feels like the original pain or maybe worse, but it’s the next step toward healing. More time must pass for swelling to subside before grafting can begin. More excruciation. The pain feels like that original trauma, but it’s another step of healing. The physical process of healing can last for years. So can the emotional healing.

I realized I’d been making progress all along. I felt the intense pain and thought I was being pulled back to the original trauma, but I was healing. I couldn’t heal all at once. Well, all things are possible with God. But he knows the possibilities of the process. Quick fixes are our thing, not his. He knows what comes with the struggle. 

I wasn’t stuck. My previous work wasn’t in vain. I needed a glimpse of understanding. I needed to become aware but not consumed. I needed to heal when the timing was right. I needed patience and perseverance. The “magical formula” is awareness and discipline, hope and wisdom. And it doesn’t feel very magical at the time. Brokenness never does. Neither does healing. But if you try to see the glimpses of hope in the process as you choose well through the difficulties, you will find the stages of healing accumulate and deepen. Attention and intention matter.