I missed my annual writing retreat this year. More specifically, I missed the friends I usually see at the retreat. I had planned to join them, but I had the opportunity to travel with family the preceding week, and I couldn’t partake in both. Some choices are difficult. I stayed as involved as I could. I stayed in the group chat. I prayed and encouraged. I sent my secret gift exchange item with one of the writing friends who lives closest to me (and enjoyed a quick catch-up session while sitting at an interstate travel center). The plan was for the two of us to meet again after the retreat for her to pass along the gift from my secret writer, but as we started to choose a date, we included others, and before long, four of us marked our calendars for an upcoming weekend. 

But something came up.

One of the friend’s husbands was planning a surprise birthday gathering for her the week before we planned to get together, so we simply shifted our get together date. The birthday girl just didn’t know it. It was quite the honor to be included. It was her extended family—and us. We got there after the family. They were busy filling their plates and sitting down to eat. It was the perfect time for us to slip undetected (except by her husband) through the front door. We walked through the living room right up to our friend and waited for her to turn around. Once she did, it took a second for her to put the pieces together. Yes, it was us. Yes, in her house. Yes, for her birthday. 

Smiles and hugs all around commenced.

We met the family members we’d heard so much about through the years, ate delicious food (including the best lemon cookies I’ve ever had in my life, thanks to her talented daughter), and talked about next year’s retreat. We’re making some special plans, since it will be our fifteenth year. It’s hard to believe. We’ve experienced a lot in fifteen years—mostly on our own but also shared among ourselves even if only through our message threads and prayers. 

I had a brief, sweet exchange with one friend, reminding me of God’s perfect provision of connections. The way he intertwines our lives and invites conversations at just the right times never ceases to amaze me. Before we left, the birthday girl took us on a tour of her creative areas. She astounds me, and being able to glimpse her organization and vision of multiple projects inspired me. 

In case you’re wondering, yes, I went home with the gift from the secret gift exchange—the one I missed at the retreat, the one I would have picked up the following week. Obviously, we cancelled the plan we had on the calendar, since we replaced it with our surprise appearance. The gift was fantastic, so very thoughtful and perfect for travels later this year. The person who had my name travelled to one of the places last year where I’ll be going later this year, and I love the curated details of the items she included. 

And while I appreciate the physical gift I took home that day, I took something much more personal home—a full heart. The couple hours in the middle of a Saturday made rich deposits in my heart and soul, reminding me of the blessings of friendships. It’s not the grand gestures that happen once or twice in your life. It’s not even what someone does for you or gives to you. It’s the small moments over time that could easily go unnoticed but weave a thread that firmly ties you together in a way that simply makes life a better. And not-so-suddenly, we find ourselves with wonderful friendgifts.