I know it’s there. I’m just too fragile to listen to it.
It was a statement made by a friend who has a recording of someone close to her who passed away. I get it. We all have those “things” that teeter on the line of comfort vs. trigger. In our fragile moments, we need to be aware it could go either way. It’s often connected to people and relationships, but not always. It can be something or someone in our everyday or something or someone a bit more isolated. Either way, we need to be aware of when and how we are fragile.
Perhaps that’s the hard part: even knowing we’re fragile. We might best understand it in comparison to when we are strong, even in the slightest ways. We can’t wait until everything feels right again. Feelings aren’t always reliable, and our doubt will trick us into thinking we can’t or shouldn’t. Or our stubbornness might trick us into thinking we can and should.
We can’t wait until we think we can handle it all, and we can’t assume we can handle it all. We can’t ignore patterns but also can’t assume we’ll get the same outcome as the last time we tried. We need to try with both patience and perseverance. We need to be wise in what load we’re able to carry. We need to be aware of what will help us heal, because sometimes it is pausing and sometimes it is pursuing. When we are continually pressing toward a healthy faith in our lives, whether or not we’re in a time of crisis, grief, or uncertainty, we can make choices even when we don’t understand. We can share burdens when we’re not sure what to hand over and what to keep close. We can find strength in our weakness and faith in our doubt. We often feel as if we are not enough or that something or someone else is too much. But God weighs in. And he works in spite of the weight. He makes the way when we can’t see it. We either can’t see a way or have a way in mind that is just plain wrong. But not God.
We’re never too fragile for him. He meets us when we’re fragile and when we’re stubborn. He sees us no matter where we are or what we think of ourselves and situations. And he cares. He not only makes a way but he is the way.
I understand my friend. I’ve been there. I’m still there at times. I’m so thankful she shared. She reminded me to be intentional when we can, because it helps when we can’t.
I know it’s there. I’m just too fragile to listen to it. becomes I know God is there, and I’m never too fragile or too strong to listen to him.
