At the beginning of the year, my friend gave me a book after realizing she had two copies. It’s a one-year devotional for couples. Tim and I didn’t think we’d consistently sit together at the same time to read the day’s devotion, so we decided to try something we knew we could maintain. Tim usually reads while drinking coffee in the morning, so he’d leave the book under his phone to remind him to read in the morning. After he reads, he’d place the book at my place at the table as a reminder to me. Then I’d return it to the place where his phone charges. Our plan worked, and we’ve been consistent.
We don’t sit side-by-side, but we’re still on the same page at least once during the day. Hopefully, it’s more than once, but at least we know we share one foundational piece in our day. We typically don’t discuss what we read. By the time we’re together for an extended time, it’s evening, and morning devotion time seems like ancient history. But sometimes when we’re walking together, Tim will bring up something that challenged or encouraged him, and it will springboard a discussion.
It’s important to be on the same page – whether with your spouse or others consistently in your daily life. Being on the same page doesn’t mean you agree on everything or take the same path. If you set your priority lists side by side, you’d likely see differences, but you should find one thing in common: You’re making your relationship a priority. You’re trying to find common ground with someone.
With all the pressures and demands of daily life, it’s easy to drift apart. Without intentional effort, relationships atrophy into chaos, or at least disinterest. Differences are often highlighted while similarities are ignored or understated.
Tim and I are similar in many ways, but there are definitely differences, and we can polarize each other in the differences. Early in our marriage, we loved to discuss a wide variety of topics. Along came children, and we discussed parenting. There’s always something we can discuss. As we begin the discussion, we might agree on all but one or two points. As we continue to focus on those things we disagree on, the chasm grows. Little by little, we step away from each other, creating distance. We can end up feeling much more different than we actually are.
Differences aren’t bad…when we respect the other person despite the differences. In some cases, we need to hold each other accountable because of the differences. The problem isn’t difference, but distance. When we find common ground with each other, we have to move closer. There might still be many differences, but the distance lessens. We have a commonality as our focus instead of a widening chasm.
Are there dividing chasms in your relationships? Today is the day to devote to getting on the same page.
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:1-4