I stood in worship, and the words and chords invaded and consumed me. That happens at the oddest times. I sometimes arrive at church feeling spiritually sensitive and prepared, yet I somehow proceed to go through the motions. Other times, I am more reluctant or disheartened, or something else prompts my hesitancy in worship, yet I am overwhelmed by God’s abundant presence.
There I stood, feeling myself open up completely, as if my entire exterior folded back to expose every bit of my being. It was a monumentally vulnerable moment…and equally beautiful and soothing.
I thought about the difference between having my heart ripped out and letting God open me up. There are similarities between the two. God can be involved in both and can certainly infuse both with his purpose. We can also mishandle or misinterpret both. Each experience might feel very different to us but we can be willing to be change, healed, humbled despite our feelings. We can refuse to think about it through only our own lens. We can see God in it even when we don’t like or don’t understand it.
Despite our feelings, it can be well through it all. Not a refusal to see the reality of a situation, not a temporary patch to soothe us or others or pretend it’s all okay, but a deeply abiding choice of peace and hope and faith, no matter how small it is at the time. As we choose vulnerability within truth, we realize God’s exponential provision. And through it all, it is well with us, because of him.