My Life with God

Handing Over Control

photo-1479834869225-899e26fb3122Just before bed, I began to speak the names of people on my prayer list. It’s not an actual list on paper. It’s a list of people God never lets stray far from my mind and heart throughout each day. As I spoke each name, I was overwhelmed by the different emotions and responses God prompted. Within seconds, I went from sensing peace to joy to feeling sick to my stomach. I had a moment of panic, feeling as if there was too much to do and not enough help and support. But I know that feeling often comes from an attempt to control and take ownership of much more than I need to. Trusting God and yielding my own need for control and impact is a constant choice I face. Most of the time, the process of struggling through trusting God is more important than the end result. Of course, we should share the burdens of praying for and serving others that God intends for us, but only as we rely on him through the process. If not, we do one thing he wants for us while simultaneously doing something he doesn’t want for us, because we try to do it without him. He doesn’t want us to drive a wedge between us and him as we’re trying to follow him. That’s counterproductive.

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