Divorce, My Life with God

Deeper Peace

photo-1530053969600-caed2596d242I have experienced God’s peace in depths I’d never known.

I have experienced God’s peace at many times in many ways over the past couple years as I reeled from my ex leaving the marriage I thought would last a lifetime. God continues to pull me deeper.

That first long night, gasping in the dark with fragments of my life swirling around me, there was a core peace I knew was God’s presence. There was not much I was certain about as I fought to breathe, but I was resolute that God is trustworthy.

As I’ve continued to deal with frustrations, delays, deception, and the general fall-out of the divorce, I’ve reflected on how I’m doing. Sometimes people ask, but I took inventory often enough that I rarely had to think long or hard about the authentic answer. Even when chaos shoved at me, I could nearly always claim to sense God’s peace. It didn’t mean I liked what was happening in my life. It didn’t mean I was shrinking back and refusing to stand up for truth. Peace isn’t avoidance; it’s a reassurance of truth. It’s not about being right; it’s about being God’s.

As much as I have experienced God’s peace, I recently sat quietly and realized I was sinking even deeper into it. God comforted me, challenged me, and prepared me. Every time God takes me deeper, I am reminded that he can take me deeper still. It is similar to the experience of understanding and gaining wisdom, the realization of knowing what I hadn’t known, then realizing how much more I have to learn.

Be willing to continue. Seek more of God not because of what he can give you but because of who he is. Going deeper with him with refine you, and the process will not be comfortable at times, but going deeper is always worthwhile.


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