You can’t move past a bad experience that you never learned from—you’re doomed to repeat it. (Caleb Kaltenbach)
I don’t think this quote refers to the things that were done to you in the context of making the other person see what he or she did and how it impacted you. Moving past something doesn’t depend on what you expect or demand from someone else, whether it’s reconciliation, forgiveness, or confrontation. All that matters…
But how did you respond to the experience at the time? How does that impact you now? What does it motivate you to say, do, and move toward now? If you were too paralyzed to respond at the time—and breathing and surviving was the best you could do—have you gotten stuck there? Do you refuse to say and do the things that need to be said and done so that you can have peace—and the other person doesn’t continue going through their motions because they’re unaware of (or unwilling to see) the impact of their actions? Perhaps you responded with faith and compassion and patience, but now you’re coasting and no longer nurturing those same characteristics and habits, which might result in other unwanted attitudes and actions creeping in and taking over.
Being “doomed to repeat” whatever it is doesn’t necessarily refer and actual betrayal or experience as much as it involves your response to something—whether you were the instigator or someone else was. What are you doing today to be healthier tomorrow?
Will you continue to repeat what you know isn’t helpful in the long run? Are you willing to do the tough work to get healthier whether that involves challenging conversations, better boundaries, or humble attitudes?
It’s time to get truthful with yourself and others. God’s truth is always more secure and trustworthy than your own.