My Life with God

To Blame/To Reconcile

When there is a disagreement, how do you respond? Do you defend, accuse, accumulate, blame, and fight? Do you stand your ground at the cost of not examining the ground where someone else stands? Is your fight about you or the specific result you want? Do you think you deserve something or have a right to something? Or, can you, even for a moment, imagine how a relationship or situation could potentially be reconciled? Do you consider what you’re spewing in the context of the disrespect you might be aiming toward someone else? Do you ever consider what your response is revealing about your character, which is often ironic as you slam someone else’s character?

When I refer to reconciliation, I’m realistic enough to know not every situation and relationship can be restored to a wholeness. However, healing and redemption can happen, and at the very least, we don’t have to inflict additional harm. We can confront with respect instead of with venom. We can work toward a mutual understanding even if that’s not what we’re able to achieve in the end. We can fight well—valuing more than a win. We can respect ourselves and others well enough to know we only win when we grow, and we only grow when we change, and we only change when we posture ourselves with humility.

You will have conflict today. You will have frustrations. You will meet challenges. The question is, “Will you do so with humility?”

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