When travelling with others, we’d spend some days together and other days on our own. We ended up making plans for a location I didn’t have much interest in, but it was important to couple other people in my group. It seems like Relationship 101, but it also seems as if it’s less common knowledge. People want to do what they want to do. And it’s important to voice our opinions, speaking up when something is important to us. What about the relationships? Are they important enough for us to set our own preferences aside at times?

I know this suggestion might trigger anyone who has set themselves aside too much. We can’t give away every bit of ourselves; then we’re not ourselves. We become the person someone else wants us to be, and we will get lost. But it’s not an all or nothing dynamic. If we yield nothing, we become selfishly isolated and uncertain. Instead of engaging, we retreat. Instead of collaborating and compromising, we become passive. Instead of stepping into the possibilities, we become invisible.

As we travelled to a not-my-top-choice destination, I enjoyed the passing scenery. The drive gave me glimpses of an area I’d never seen. When we arrived early, I explored a gorgeous park on a brisk day. The area collected people who were different from me, although I’m sure there were plenty who were less than excited to be there. And I loved it. I watched people gather and connect, laugh and shop. I found value in the day and the venue. Most of all, I spent time with people I love. I didn’t lose that day because I sacrificed my preference; I won.