I don’t know if I’ll ever watch the Superbowl in quite the same way. It’s been eight years since I spent the Sunday in the depths of confusion. The big game day had always been a fun day for me, even if it was quiet at home. But eight years ago, the day became something else in the context of trauma and chaos unlike any I had experienced. But years pass. And as they do, the core of the memories doesn’t fade. I still physically shudder at the memory of what I felt that day. The passing of time doesn’t diminish what happened. But the passing of time invites a multitude of things to happen.

• I’ve added memories made on the same day between then and now. To date, it’s the most damaging big game day, but in the context of the years since, there is healing and the triumph that comes with it.
• I’ve pursued both growth and grounding—growth in order to move through the healing process and become better, and grounding as a reminder and clarification of the foundation I stand firmly on.
• I’ve continued to move through—through healing, through reflection, through faith.

Is everything tied into a nice and tidy bow? Absolutely not. I carry minimal baggage, but deep hurt doesn’t go away. I have zero desire for revenge or defensiveness—quite the opposite—but that’s a constant, intentional approach. I don’t want to place myself in an unhealthy position from which people hurt others. I have too many people I deeply love in my life; I’m focused on keeping myself as healthy as possible for them and myself.

Sometimes the only way through is through. Refuse to get stuck in anger, betrayal, revenge, distortion, or anything severe whether it’s positive or negative. Be willing to do the difficult work of authentic reflection. It’s the only way to move through, at least in a productive, clarifying, persevering way. It’s worth the humility. It’s worth the effort. When anniversaries that mark difficult reminders circle around the calendar, the pain takes on a different context among the progress.