My favorite Subway order is turkey and cheese on flatbread, a little mustard, a lot of parmesan—toasted. There were many busy days at work when my assistant-turned-friend offered to do a pickup for me. She drove right by on her way back from lunch at home, and on free cookie days, she and her partner often picked up their own Subway orders as well. When we first started ordering together, there was only one problem: Subway didn’t give me the option to toast the sandwich. I was disappointed. Of course, I adjusted. I popped the sandwich in the microwave at work, and while not actually toasted, just plain heated was a satisfactory alternative.
Months passed, perhaps a year, with sandwich orders every two or three weeks. I didn’t mind heating the sandwich; in fact, it was nice to be able to choose when to heat and eat, since I’d often get busy and not eat as soon as I’d get the sandwich. And then one day, lo and behold, the app had the toasted option! I did a little happy dance, and clicked toasted before finalizing the order.
When it arrived, I was disappointed. It had been toasted, but it was a cold day, so by the time it got to me—or perhaps I had once again been distracted—it was toasted in texture but not in temperature. Not a good combination. Easily remedied, I thought, as I popped it in the microwave, but warming it only made its edges harder. Perhaps it was a one time issue, but the results the next time were similar. So, I abandoned the toasted orders and returned to heating them on my own.
Who cares about my sandwich preferences, disappointments, and solutions? Probably no one, but as is often with everyday experiences, I learned something. Sometimes we think we want something when we can’t have it but we learn we don’t want it once we can actually have it. It doesn’t cause a lot of issues when it’s just a sandwich, but when it’s a habit, we get unnecessarily dissatisfied. We stir up our own discontentment by having unrealistic goals or expectations, when the practicality doesn’t match.
Think about it. There is give and take in so many situations in our lives. We want someone to change in a relationship, but is it for our own convenience? Have we thought about what implications the change will have in our everyday? What about at work? Are we ready to accept the changes that one annoying person’s leaving will spur? If we want someone held accountable, what scrutiny or procedure challenges will come with it? If we’re unhappy with the weather or season, have we considered both the pros and cons of the other options? Change can be good. Change is necessary. But it also isn’t isolated. It has ripple effects. That’s okay, but sometimes the unknowns of getting what you want require just as much adjustment as not having what you want.