I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to relax.

As my annual retreat week approached, I had a lot on my mind. Work was busy to say the least. It wasn’t the best time to leave. I understood when people responded, “But when is a good time? Is there ever really a good time?” Yet I still teetered on the edge of declaring a stay-at-home-retreat despite knowing it wouldn’t work well. I’d continue to fit in some of my regularly scheduled commitments. I knew I needed time away, even if I wasn’t 100% focused on retreat-type goals.

I planned to leave work a couple hours early on Friday to get on the road, stop and see a couple cute kids I know pretty well, and pick up groceries in preparation for my group meal prep. I’d still arrive late, but I knew better than to wait until Saturday. I’d end up feeling like I lost a day even if I got on the road first thing in the morning. My phone alerted me an hour before I was supposed to leave. “Your Event: Retreat begins in one hour.” I smiled.

My daughter called at the exact time I told her I was leaving. “Are you on the road? You said you were leaving now. Leave work, and get on the road.” My right-hand team member popped into my office minutes later, “You need to be gone by now. It’s time to relax. We’ve got you covered.” Another coworker paused as he walked by a few minutes later, “Aren’t you supposed to be gone?” (You’d think they were pushing me out the door because they don’t like me. But they care. Get some people in your life that keep an eye on you and hold you accountable.)

I didn’t quite make my departure goal, but I didn’t miss it by much. I sat in my car and sighed. It had been a long week. I had a long drive ahead of me. My retreat wouldn’t just be personal, as I had some work to do, too. I’d miss some of my routine events with people I love. I’d miss supporting people I care about who are struggling. But I needed the break. I needed to use my creative brain. I needed the down time with another group of friends I usually only see at the annual retreat.

I simultaneously felt ready, yet not. I was quickly reminded the process and the result doesn’t have to fit a mold, meeting all my expectations. Settling in isn’t the same as settling. Feeling conflicted doesn’t mean there is only one choice. Whether I was fully ready or not, I moved forward—into challenges, recharge, progress, and connections. I encourage you to do the same. You don’t need to reduce your day to reactions; you get to engage and invest. Your today and tomorrow depends on it.