Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. (Psalm 139: 23-24)

Preparing for, traveling to, and journeying throughout Israel involves a lot of searching.

I search places.

I search and get to know people.

Most of all, I search for God.

I want to know Him better. I want to find who He is and invite however He wants to reveal Himself to me. But it’s not all about me assertively seeking Him. It’s essential, indeed, but when I make it all about what I do, I miss out on something equally, if not more, important.

Much of the effort I make isn’t about a push forward. It is a stillness, a vulnerability to let God search every aspect of me. It is my willingness to submit. And it’s uncomfortable. It means I give God permission to search the things that need to be change. I don’t pick and choose what He searches. He filters everything through His will, not my timing and preference. He affirms and encourages me but also convicts and challenges me. He comforts me and changes me.

And I wouldn’t want it any other way.