I have a fairly strong personality. Sometimes, it means I get a lot done, can lead well, and help others move forward. Other times, it means I’m bossy.
It also means I’m fairly comfortable with confrontation. But for those who shy away from it, that quality in me can be scary. It’s not intended to be. If it is, I’m misusing it.
After all, it’s not confrontation that I like; it’s resolution.
People and relationships are too important to me to allow issues to go unresolved. People can’t grow without remaining sharp. We can’t grow without pruning. Being sharpened and pruned sound painful, and let’s be honest: sometimes they are. But they also help us to move forward, to not get stuck in our own comfortable way of doing things.
None of us are completely responsible for each other’s growth, yet we do have some responsibility. And not just in other’s growth but in our own. Being sharpened and pruned sound passive, but they are anything but. The growth process is active: planting, cultivating, nurturing, pruning, harvesting, preparing. And there are tools for each part of the process. Some tools are sharper than others. Some seem more effective or less desirable, but all are necessary.
Confrontation isn’t intended to just shake someone into shape and get them on the right path. It’s about a relationship of preparation and resolution, and that includes questions, doubts, disagreements, discussions, patience, reconnections, and more.
It’s worth the effort. It’s worth the humility. It’s worth the boldness.
Resolution is often not attained, but it can always be the goal. We can work toward it. It can define the process. It can be part of the foundation of our relationships. It might not always feel steady, but when it’s our goal, it provides firm footing to move forward and grow.