Hard to Swallow

photo-1518964392857-88332d1cf619I nearly puked as he told me some of the details. I had found out about his girlfriend and waited days to confront him, knowing I needed to be calm and at peace if I wanted to invite a conversation. I knew much more than what he told me, yet it had a more potent rankness coming from his mouth.

At one point, I felt the need to turn away, break eye contact, and swallow the horrible-tasting lump in my throat. But as soon as I turned to one side, I felt God straighten me up and adamantly turn me back around with resolute encouragement: “Oh, believe me. Trust me. I’ve got this.”

He did. The words I heard still cut deeply, but I heard them with a strength I knew only comes from God. I knew I could trust God’s filter and healing. I knew he was fighting for me. It didn’t take me out of the equation. I was still very much in the middle of it. But I also knew the equation, despite its complexities, was solvable by God.

4 thoughts on “Hard to Swallow

  1. I really appreciate your openness and vulnerability in these posts. As hard as it must be to share, your experiences can help each one of us as we go through the difficult things we face. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you, Susan. I appreciate your encouragement. I pray with everything I write that it encourages hope and healing in someone. We all go through some messy and painful situations. The specifics might change but some of the basics are very similar. And we can help one another. 🙂

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  2. My heart aches when I read this because I have watched your difficult journey. But even more it aches because I have seen this similar scenario play out many times over the years. Thanks for you candidness and sharing your heart. But thanks most for showing that God is continually healing and At work.

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    1. Thank you, Linda. I have certainly appreciated your prayers. I have waited to share some pieces of the journey, as I want to share out of a healthy place in order to encourage others. You, too, have been through a different kind of heartbreak. While each of us have slightly different journeys, the process of choosing whether or not to trust God through it all is something many of us struggle through and share. Blessings, my friend!

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