My Life with God

Burning Bridges

photo-1493912998473-dc700e2ac245Sometimes we need to burn bridges to stop ourselves from crossing them again. 

Really? Yes, there are some things we move on from and there is never a need to go back, but to claim we have to burn a bridge to stop ourselves seems to downplay our ability to apply self-discipline. We need to know how to establish healthy boundaries. We need to practice living with healthy boundaries with things we leave in our past, because it helps as we live with healthy boundaries with what and who is in our present and future. Healthy boundaries sometimes involve burning a bridge but rarely. When we excessively demolish bridges in our lives, we leave some rubble we eventually need to rebuild. We leave others to deal with rubble. And we get a false sense of what moving forward with reconciliation and healthy coping strategies can look like.

Before you blow up the bridge, take a few steps away from it. Move forward a bit and reflect back with a wider perspective. Make a decision with some clarity instead of panic. Respond instead of react. You might never need the bridge again in your own life, but the mess of a burned bridge you leave behind might not be what you want to leave behind for others. Don’t blow up a bridge when other healthy boundaries will suffice.

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