My pup isn’t that old but started to show some health issues.
I was concerned, but I don’t typically run to the vet with every issue. I tend to watch and wait, even try a few things to identify the problem. But as time passed, I realized the issue needed attention. I thought I could wait until her annual appointment and simply have the vet—a friend of mine—check her out, but she seemed too uncomfortable to wait any longer.
I made an appointment.
Truth be told, I was anxious about my dog’s health. I don’t tend to think worst-case-scenario. I don’t let myself go down the worry track too far. But this was different. By the time of the appointment, I had worked myself up a bit. I could have told my friend some of the back story of my concerns, but I knew I was a bit too edgy for that.
I had loaded the situation a bit, because this was the dog my ex and I shared. This was the dog he enjoyed sitting in the yard with. This is the dog I’d offered to let him keep, because (1) the pup had just moved to a new house a few months earlier, and I didn’t want to uproot her again, and (2) I thought my ex could use a bit of stability, responsibility, and companionship in his life through whatever crisis he was in. But my ex tried to give away the dog—our dog. He rejected her at the same time he rejected me. He told me I’d never be able to afford to take care of a dog.
So, my dog and I moved and settled into a new life together. She was protective of me for quite a while. We looked out for each other. She seemed to easily settle into her new yard when I bought a house earlier this year. She seemed to sense home as much as I did.
But now she was sick, and I wrapped a lot into the possibilities. If she was very sick, maybe my ex was right and I wouldn’t be able to afford to take care of her. If she was very sick, would I have to say goodbye to her and the many memories I had with her? Well, obviously, I’d have to do that at some point, but was I ready?
For now, she’s okay. Yes, she has some health issues that aren’t going to go away, but she feels better. The vet takes good care of her. And perhaps he understands what I’m going through even without me telling him.
I sighed after the appointment. I continue to enjoy my time with my pup. And I’m reminded to take it all one day at a time, not wrapping too many experiences, emotions, and possibilities together. One moment, one memory, one challenge at a time.
Connections bind us to experiences and memories. We grow and change, but we still remember, and those memories bring us joy and pain, hope and sorrow.
Your today is tied to your yesterdays, as well as your tomorrows. Keep your mind and heart open. Live fully. Savor what you can. Reach back to mend and heal. Look forward to hope and aspire. And today, breathe. Look around and notice what is around you. Choose appreciation and gratitude.