Divorce, My Life with God

The Perspective and Purpose of Time

If you’ve followed Pure Purpose for long, you might remember a season of repurposing posts three years ago. In February 2017, my ex abruptly left our marriage. I had just returned from a writing retreat, where I had scheduled more than usual posts. So, I didn’t have to think about writing in those early weeks of turmoil. As I came to the end of the scheduled posts, I knew I had a few options. Pausing the blog posts was one option, but I had recently received many comments of encouragement about how the blog was helping and challenging individuals. Writing new posts was another option, but (1) I didn’t have the bandwidth, and (2) I didn’t want to share out of the rawness and inadvertently be more harmful than helpful to others through my posts. Because I’d been writing for years, I could easily repurpose some posts, so I began to do so.

I didn’t know how long the season would last. I thought it was briefer than it was. Recently, my “first post back” popped into my Timehop. Here’s an excerpt from Starting Again:

One of the main reasons I write is to encourage others. That doesn’t mean everything is nice and neat, tied up in an everything-is-fine bow. It’s important for me to write from an authentic place. But also a healthy place. I do not want to do more harm than good. So, several months ago, I made the decision to repost some past writings.

Today, I’m venturing back into current reflections. I’ve been taking notes throughout the past months,  so I have plenty of topics to write about; I might steer clear of the super personal stuff for a while unless I’m confident I can share with appropriate authenticity. But…I am back!

And while there’s a small part of me that is a bit nervous about it, I am mainly excited.

Excited to share my life with you, to live out loud, to engage in conversation again.

I had been still (in my writing) for seven months. That is a long time for me. Those days and the pain I was going through seemed long and daunting and insurmountable, yet it seems as if the season of not writing was briefer than that. If you’ve parented young children, it’s similar to the days that seem to drag but years that fly by. If you’ve planned a vacation, it’s similar to the departure date seemingly out of reach when the days of work loom ahead while there doesn’t seem to be enough time in each day to get work done ahead of time.

Oh, how we experience time differently with a slightly changed perspective.

As I reflected on that first real-time post, I thought about friends who are going through a tough time right now. If you’re included in that group, here are a few things to grasp onto:

  • You cannot continue to do everything you were doing when your life was not in crisis. Be wise in how you spend your energy.
  • Be authentic. You can’t (and shouldn’t) share everything with everyone. But whether you are fully sharing or limiting sharing, be authentic within the confines of the appropriate boundaries.
  • As difficult as it is, be aware of the impact you have on others. While being authentic, do not unnecessarily harm others by unhealthily sharing your burdens. Discern well.
  • Some days, all you will have the energy to do is breathe. That is okay. In the moments you are breathing easier, take a step. Whether that’s reaching out to someone, attempting a simple household task, or serving someone else to get your mind off yourself, make progress when you can.

The pause in my writing a few years ago was not a pause in my life. Life was most certainly still happening. In many ways, it was awful. In other ways, it was clarifying. Know that every season, even the worst of them, have purpose. The more intentionally we can live within each seasons, the better prepared we are for the next.

Two words sum up that season for me, and perhaps you can relate:

Only God.

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