I am tired of people not going to the source, addressing people behind their backs. It hurts people. It hurts people I care about, and it hurts me. The message it sends is the face-to-face relationship, the core relationship at the center of the discussion, is not important enough to extend respect and care and effort. People are willing to complicate relationships by talking behind the backs of those who are involved.
Have I approached someone about this directly and in the way I believe is healthy? Yes. But this post isn’t about a specific situation or person. I’ve seen the consequences of this approach multiple times recently. And I want better for all of us.
I believe we can be healthier. I believe we can be humbler. I believe we can be appropriately authentic, truthful, and loving. We can pursue people in our relationships instead of dismissing them. We can invest in interactions instead of manipulating them. We can say the tough things to the right people instead of creating damaging chasms. We can do this. Together.