I talk to text for the majority of my messages. I simply find it easier. Every now and then, what the phone translates isn’t exactly what I said. And sometimes I don’t even catch it until I go back and read messages. I will often still correct myself a couple days later when I find the error, sending an “oops” to the recipient, as if they didn’t already figure it out. And then there are times I simply misspeak, whether on text or in person. It’s usually in person, when my mind works faster than my mouth. Or I’m multi-tasking and insert a word running through my mind due to the secondary conversation while speaking in the primary conversation. Sometimes I think, “Where did that come from?” An overactive mind perhaps? I have to admit sometimes my focus is off. I’m not as committed to the conversation as I should be.

There are times we misuse words. That’s different and is usually rooted in a misunderstanding of a definition or context. Verbal typos are similar to what happens when we type too fast or type while talking about something else. Just like the grammar app puts the squiggly line under what you’ve typed (unless you have it set to automatically correct your typos, which can be dangerous when there are many similar words), it’s often the other person’s face who gives the alert to a misspoken word. Sometimes it’s hilarious. Sometimes it’s confusing. Sometimes no one will notice.

Maybe it’s not a huge deal in the majority of our conversations. The people we live with and work with on a regular basis know us well enough to know what we mean. But there are also situations where it matters for clear communication. Maybe it doesn’t have to perfect to be clear, because sometimes our fractured sentences reveal our own struggles or our word-tripping reveals our excitement. I have to remind myself to breathe when I’m speaking, and I still fail at it at times. I don’t want to be guarded when I speak. I’ve been close to people who are too guarded even around the people closest to them, because they want all words to be proper or they want to appear more put together than they are. I want to be authentic, which means there are sometimes messes, but I don’t want to excuse poor communication. I can spider web at times, and I’ve found shorter sentences with pauses to be more effective at times.

The spoken word isn’t the same as the written word, because people can take their time when they’re reading. They can pause and loop back to check the context. When we talk, we can repeat ourselves, but communication is always leaning forward. It’s dynamic as the back and forth of a conversation.

Communication has a purpose—or multiple purposes. Talking with others needs to be effective, but it also needs to be relational. If you don’t consider the people on the receiving end, as well as on a giving end as they respond, the communication and relationship break down. And people are too important for that.

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