The eraser was invented a couple centuries after the invention of the pencil. Can you imagine writing in pen your whole life, which is basically what it would be like without an eraser?

I’m a pencil girl. I like to color-code, so there are instances in which I’ve used colored pens or highlighters, but for everyday, it’s pencils for me. Looking back, I think it was solidified when I kept a schedule of school classes and assignments. I needed to erase and rearrange. I didn’t like the messes of crossed-out scribbles. I couldn’t keep life tidy and neat, but I could keep my outline of it uncluttered.

I think I’ve erased more in life than I’ve kept. And it’s not a bad thing. I have had a lot of stability. I have roots that run deep in values and relationships. But in the context of that continuity is an array of opportunities, mistakes, detours, and adventures. I wouldn’t change it. But it has emphasized the importance of having access to an eraser.

The eraser really doesn’t fix issues. It doesn’t pluck the time out of existence. The history and timeline are still there. And it’s a good thing. To think we can organize our history and void it of any clutter or scribbles is unreasonable. Those messes provide context in which we have learned and healed and grown. It’s important to untangle them so we understand to the best of our ability where all the threads lead. We need to connect what we can. As we connect the dots, we see what we couldn’t imagine before. The ugliness might still be ugly, but we might not toss it all aside because we can see how beauty was revealed because of it.

To avoid is like using white out. The marks are still there whether we see them or not. If what is underneath requires reflection and healing for growth, we need to pay attention to it.

To rewrite history is like overwriting. And it can create some sloppy results. Sometimes it’s a simple reimagination, like when we’ve been told a story from our childhood so much we think we remember it when we personally don’t. But we end up trusting what others have told us repeatedly because it’s the only context we have. Other times, it’s a safety mechanism because it’s the only way we know how to deal with something difficult in our past. And then there are the times we take bits and pieces of the past and rework them into something that proves our point or excuses our responsibility, because we think it’s the best way to justify what we did.

We can take an F and design a flamingo around it. The artwork enhances the original letter. Or we can take the F and make it look like an A because it’s more comfortable to us. But the grade is still the grade.

We should use our writing utensils and accessories responsibly. We should know our motivation. I’m certainly thankful for the pencil and eraser, but I want to use both responsibly to share, record, and encourage. To reflect, heal, and grow.

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