When you make your own rules, losing by them stinks.

It doesn’t seem possible, because you can change the rules to avoid the loss, but it’s not that simple. Shifting rules just means there are more rules people can call you on—and more justifications of inconsistencies. And when there is a lack of humility, the issues compound. At least humility can position you to authentically reflect on and acknowledge the inconsistencies. We all have misunderstandings. We’re all learning. But when someone repeatedly, arrogantly claims their indomitable position, they are setting themselves up for issues.

• Trust me. I’ve proven myself. Don’t question me.
• I don’t need to see what you’ve done. What I’ve done is enough.
• I’ve been doing this longer than you/them.
• Asking questions is a waste of time. Just do it.

No one is unquestionable.

No one can demand trust. Demanding trust usually invites distrust.

No one has done enough with no room to learn more.

Length of experience (or specific degrees or titles) doesn’t inherently make one person better than another. The quality of the experiences (application of the degrees, quality of work under the titles) sets people apart.

While there are times questions need to be temporarily set aside, they aren’t a waste of time. It’s how we learn, mentor, and grow.

I never want to get to a place where I am so cynical that I don’t try to see under the veneer and engage with an individual. I also never want to put myself into a position where I do not recognize inconsistencies and warning signs. Part of it is knowing myself and making sure I am appropriately humble. I’ve found the stronger a valuable character trait is in me the more easily I see it in others—not in a harsh, judgmental way but in a healthy boundaries way. It’s important if we want to avoid messy situations or at least navigate them well.

How well are you navigating challenging relationships and situations in your life?