Compartmentalization can be a short-term immediate response to a situation, but it’s not a reliable long-term option. Choosing the best coping strategies involves both situational, one-time choices as well as repeat choices. We have to be aware of how one area of life impacts another, so while compartmentalizing might work in a temporary situation, it will cause long-term damage if we continue it for too long.

Consider it in the context of roles you have in your life. How does one role impact another?

I’m a mom no matter what my situation is. I’m a grandma no matter what my situation is. I’m a daughter no matter what my situation is. My job might change, but I have a role in whatever job I am currently in. I have friendships that bring joy and support but also involve burdens with what friends are facing. These are all identities that are important to me, and none of them exist in isolation. I try to focus on where I am and whom I’m with, but I don’t compartmentalize. I’m thinking about my friends, especially as they struggle, when I’m at work. I consider what best parenting looks like when I’m grandparenting, because being the best grandparent I can be isn’t apart from being the best parent I can be. My roles and identities aren’t mutually-exclusive.

I also can’t balance it all. If you see me soaring in one area, I might be floundering in another. I can’t be two places at once. No one can. But I also can’t compartmentalize people and responsibilities out of specific timeframes of my life either. I’m more realistic than that. If we don’t notice the decisions we’re making, we’ll begin to feel trapped by what limits we think are being imposed on us.

Acknowledge limitations. This doesn’t mean you have to compartmentalize your life then play a game of Survivor where you toss aside one option a week, month, or year. Each area has different needs. Some things you do impact more than one area, positively or negatively. Perhaps it’s better to think about it less in roles than in life’s dimensions: emotional, physical, occupational, social, spiritual, intellectual, financial, environmental. You will never excel in all areas at once. However, excelling at one doesn’t presume failure in another. They are more entwined than you might think—unless you compartmentalize them. When they are entwined, intentionally working on one can simultaneously lift other areas up as well.

Think of your life as a woven net. Each role, identity, dimension is a strand that is knotted and woven with others. Sometimes they become a twisted mess. But sometimes they work together. The fisherman doesn’t need to have their hands on every string to pull up the net as a whole even when it is filled with the catch of the day. How much would they catch with a single strand? That’s what we do when we compartmentalize: we try to cast a net with one strand after another, hoping they will magically form a cohesive unit that works together. We frustratingly get the strings tangled or can’t respond when we catch something on one because of the others we have in process.

Life is hard at times. We don’t need to make it harder by our approach.