When have you found an unmet need when and where you least expected it?

I was at a women’s event, talking with a friend in the foyer during a midday main session. Except for the cars in the parking lot and the two of us standing in the foyer, the place looked deserted. No one was expected to arrive so late, so my friend and I were surprised when a woman walked through the door.

Her name was Olga. She was looking for a cup of coffee. There was a coffee shop in the building, but it was closed for the day. Since we had coffee prepared for the event, sharing a cup of coffee was no problem. Other than looking for a coffee shop, Olga knew nothing about where she was. She began to ask questions about the purpose of the building and our event. As it turned out, she was new to the area and had some needs available specific ministries could address. After talking for a while, I ask for her contact information, and she left.

What started as a question mark encounter ended with an exclamation point.

Which punctuation mark – question mark or exclamation point – primarily characterizes your conversations?

Do you tell, ask, listen, or share most often?

Unless we know the need, we can’t meet it.

Sometimes the person in need doesn’t even know the need. How can we? As I connect with people in ministry, most conversations begin with requests for information, but as I ask questions and listen to experiences, I find there are unexpressed needs just under the surface. Needs are often unidentified until someone is asked to share and explore. Without questions, I assume the request for information accurately reflects the need. In reality, people are often just trying to fix a surface-level issue. It’s like putting a bandage on an open gash. It won’t help much when someone needs stitches.

A sip of coffee won’t fix the longing for healthy community of support and accountability. We shared coffee with Olga, meeting the immediate need, but (1) she got more than a cup of coffee and (2) she received the coffee for free when she expected to pay. Her needs were met beyond expectations. That’s what happens when we ask questions of others and ourselves.

We don’t have all the answers. It’s okay when all the pieces don’t fit as we think they should. We might be able to help another person with one piece of her puzzle and someone else helps with another piece. Likewise, many people in our lives help us with our needs – both identifying and meeting them.

When we speak only with exclamation points, we get less response than with question marks. Question marks are conversational. Exclamation points are declarative.

Ask the questions. Trust God for the answers.

As you connect with people throughout the day, notice the punctuation you’re using. How is it enhancing or hindering your communication and relationships?

And this is the boldness we have in God’s presence: that if we ask God for anything that agrees with what he wants, he hears us. (1 John 5:14)