My alarm beeped. I wanted to hit “off” instead of “snooze.” I wanted to go back to sleep until…whenever.
I don’t sleep in well. I definitely don’t nap. And I used to set my alarm only in extreme situations when I needed to be awake several hours earlier than usual. Even then, I nearly always woke up minutes before the alarm sounded, making the introduction to the morning much more enjoyable. But on a recent morning, I wanted to snuggle under my covers and savor rest, dozing off and on. It was a good thing I swiped “snooze” instead of “off,” or I might not have made it to work on time.
Rest is important. Sleep is important. Yet sometimes we let it lull us into indifference and isolation. We think if we’re tired, we need – perhaps even deserve – sleep or, at the very least, laziness. That might be the case at times, but not always. Sometimes – most of the time – we need to swipe the “awaken” button instead.
Being wide awake as we go through life opens our eyes and hearts to a plethora of experiences, including disturbing and overwhelming ones. That’s the consequence of being fulled engaged with life. We can snooze or numb ourselves to attempt to make life more palatable and comfortable, but is the cost of avoiding authentic relationships and conversations, focusing on ourselves and our preferences, too costly?
I believe so.
Living with my eyes and heart and soul wide open feels vulnerable at times, but even more often, is fulfilling, purposeful, and beautiful.