I got to spend the day with my son-in-law. It was just him and me, painting the kitchen. We both like to paint. We are both fairly picky. I wondered how we’d work together.
The day started off well when I saw how well-organized he was. He’d done the time-consuming prep work of taping, taking off and labeling cabinet doors, setting up outside work space, and so on. He’d thought through the various jobs we had and the dry time for each, so he had a plan to maximize the day. It didn’t take long for us to settle in and make progress.
Throughout the day, we listened to worship music, laughed as he Face-timed a sister, heard and discussed several messages from favorite speakers, discussed the confusion over sections of Scripture, and talked about everyday life. We also enjoyed moments of quiet as we worked hard. My daughter/his wife made sure we were fed well throughout the day even though she couldn’t be around the paint fumes. Of course, I would have enjoyed her company, too, but I have to admit: spending time with my son-in-law was good. The two of us had taken a short road trip the week before and had a great time.
It’s good to extend family. It’s good to open our lives to others, especially those who become important to the people closest to us. We don’t choose who our kids marry, but we choose how we accept and grow with them. I get to “mom” another person, one who is important to me. Plus, he comes from a large family. While I might not see them often, they are an extension of him, and I consider them my extended family. More people to encourage; more people to encourage and love the people I love.
Marriage doesn’t assure or require we accept and invest in others. We can refuse to truly welcome people. We can reject, demean, and leave people. But if we do, we miss out. Family is more than obligatory family traditions. Family is doing life together – adventures, celebrations, conflicts, challenges, and more. It’s not picking and choosing when it’s convenient and comfortable.
In that one day of power painting, we finished the kitchen. (Well, he put it all back together once I left.) We made things more beautiful but the process was messy. In fact, I even left a bit of mess behind when they noticed a splatter of paint I must have left on my last quick painting pass before packing up to go home.
They can clean it up. After all, that’s what we do for each other as family.